Glaze Gone Wild!

Internal 'Subsidy' Memo (LMAO!!)

2012-01-27T20:56:00.000+01:00

TO: ALL DEPENDANTS AND RELATIVES

Due to the increase in fuel price, all domestic rules and regulations have been revised as below.

1. The kitchen and all gantries are declared Restricted Zones. Entry and/or passage shall require express permission from me upon submission of written request.

2. Breakfast is banned. This matter cannot be discussed!

3. Such food items as rice, pounded yam, chicken, fresh fish, cornflakes, butter, jam, eggs, bread and milk are Restricted. Anyone intending to eat any of such foodstuffs must write to me in triplicate, with three days’ notice, giving justification backed by a qualified dietician's report.

4. Watering with hoses is banned. Further, only food-giving plants shall be watered. No lawns or flowers shall receive water. For internal decoration, only plastic and dry-flower arrangements shall be permitted.

5. Bathing in the morning is limited to 5 litres of water per day per person while bathing in the evening is banned unless there are medical reasons. There shall be only twelve toilet rolls for the year, that is one (1) per month.

6. All security lights should be removed with immediate effect. All dependents shall abide by an all-night guard-duty roster I shall make available shortly.

7. No dependent shall entertain friends indoors, far less attempt to offer food, drinks or even music. Those who want their guests to listen to music shall sing for them.

8. No one is allowed to switch on the Gen for any reason whatsoever; Emergency shall require express permission from me only.

9. Anybody who breaks a glass, furniture or any other property in the house, shall immediately have to seek temporary employment somewhere to earn money to replace such broken item(s).

10. All visitors intending to spend a night/week or more must submit written application in triplicate and give two months’ notice, with an endorsement from their Village Head or Church Priest, giving convincing reasons why they can't stay at their homes / hotels.

THESE RULES ARE BINDING with immediate effect AND NOT SUBJECT TO ANY DISCUSSION WHATSOEVER!!!

Signed: HEAD OF THE FAMILY.

Anti-Condoms..

2012-01-26T21:15:00.001+01:00

Yes!

You read right; I do intend to talk about sex and its accessories. The only thing is I intend to pick on just one sex aid today.

CONDOM (male contraceptive):
contraceptive for man: a close-fitting rubber covering worn by a man over the penis during sexual intercourse to prevent pregnancy or the spread of sexually transmitted disease.

That is the dictionary meaning of a condom - yes; but MY definition is

CONDOM (life saver):
must-have for dudes: a small but powerful rubber that should be taken EVERYwhere you go. It can ensure you have a career, a wife you WANT and a sound mind. Eliminates all forms of worry, heart/headaches and high blood pressure.

I do not know what is wrong with the world these days. Maybe the Earth has shifted way too much or something. We all have been informed about the advantages of using condoms if we decide that 'abstinence' is a path we cannot tow. In the 90s, there was a huge campaign against the 'MEN', it was claimed that many men then refused to wear condoms because in their words - "they couldn't feel anything".

Advocates of the Stop Aids Campaign went to town, saying that guys were the ones standing in the way of an Aids-free generation. This campaign became useless when diapers, baby food, baby farts and endless crying did what these organisations could not..lol.

Fast forward to the past decade, and the tide has totally turned. The guys who have lost careers, education or serious weight due to their new 'daddy status' have embraced the condom culture. The only thing is... well, the WOMEN happen to be totally oblivious of the reasons why a condom is quite important. They have suddenly become the species who need to 'feel'!

I laugh so hard when I think about it. Guys keeping condoms in their wallet for 2 years; not because they are not getting any, but because she dare not see it during the entire act. Ladies, please what is the reason for this? - apart from not liking the faces on the pack below :D.

BB Etiquette.. Part 1

2012-01-24T21:12:00.002+01:00

Hi guys!

There isno denying the fact that the Blackberry smartphone has taken over thephone/smartphone markets along with, well, most of our lives. The attachmentmost people have for their ‘BBs’ is quite ridiculous. A necessity it is forsome and an indulgent habit for most.

I havea couple of reservations about the way it has shaped our lives and the way mostpeople (Nigerians especially) have created virtual lives out of a merecommunication device. Below, I have permitted myself to vent..

Broadcast messages:

Whywould you have a car and complain when a ‘rubber’ tire bursts? Why would youbuy an air-conditioner and then complain that it makes you cold? It is for thisvery same reason that you buying a Blackberry phone also comes with the risk ofa couple of people abusing some of its uses. The broadcast function is one thatenables a fellow user send a message to ALL of his/her contacts; so if youhappen to be on the contact list of what I like to call a ‘serial BCer’, thentoo bad.

This isnot enough reason to hate, curse or delete anyone who sends you a BC. How manyof you smash your TV screens whenever that very annoying advert comes up? Orhow many companies have been put out of business because you think theiradverts are shitty? Do open EVERY broadcast message you receive, they mightcontain some really valuable information (with the exception of those who youhave identified as the senders of GOOD MORNING, HAPPY SUNDAY, RAIN IS FALLING,GOD WILL PUNISH YOU IF YOU DON’T DANCE ALANTA IN CHURCH etc.).

Putting up nude/topless/bum/boob photos as your displaypicture:

DO NOTeven get angry if you start to get random pings asking about your cup size or ifthe body parts belong to you. I say do not get angry not because they can’t bevery annoying, but because you asked for it. If a lady in her right senses decidesto put on a very low cut blouse, then any guy in his right senses can decide tostare at her boobs! It’s a simple case of action and reaction.

If youkeep putting naked pictures on display, do not vex if I ask how much for anight. I do not advocate the crossing of personal boundaries or the excuse ofseductive dressing as a reason to rape; but I say like our elders in Nigeria –If you do not plan to eat the food, do not sniff it. If you can handle theonslaught of horny guys whenever you use such seductive pictures or personalmessages, then more power to your elbows, but if you can’t, please stop it. Youwill look like a hooker saying she’s a night hustler when you start to insult aguy who propositions you with a top that barely contains your boobies as yourdp.

This is all I am going to touch on right now, the follow up will be out real soon. Please do feel free to visit our facebook page at www.facebook.com/glazegonewild to also add your takes on this particular issue and do not forget to like the page.

Cheers!

Twins born 5 years apart!!

2012-01-04T20:20:00.001+01:00

A mother has spoken of her joy after giving birth to a much longed-for "twin" to her five-year-old son.

Reuben and Floren Blake were conceived from the same batch of embryos but were born five years apart after some embryos were frozen during fertility treatment.

Parents Simon, 45, and Jody, 38, had been trying to start a family without success and began treatment in 2005. Five embryos were created and two implanted in Mrs Blake, which resulted in the birth of Reuben on December 9, 2006.

The remaining three embryos were frozen until the couple, from Cheltenham, Gloucestershire, decided to try for another child last year.

Floren arrived on November 16, 2011 - two weeks before her due date - but five years after her brother.

Mr Blake said: "Just in kind of mundane settings where people take an interest in a newborn baby and with Reuben around as well, I find it very difficult to resist the temptation to say 'Oh and by the way they are twins'.

"It's almost just to see people's response. They are really amazed and surprised."

His wife, a programmes manager for the children's charity WellChild, said: "It does feel quite surreal. I think people are really, really surprised and it almost takes people a few minutes to get their heads around it.

"We obviously had nine months to get it straight and to think 'Gosh, we're having Reuben's twin', but it's incredibly special.

"When we had Floren, because I had her by Caesarean, we told the theatre team and they were all absolutely blown away and excited, ecstatic really.

Happy New Year in Nigeria??

2012-01-02T19:16:00.001+01:00

1.      From Jan. 1, 2012, fuel prices have beenincreased from N65 to N141 per litre. A move that is going to ultimately resultin the increment of EVERY other thing in the country.
2.      Lagos state has begun its journey to being‘cashless’. The Central Bank of Nigeria with the backing of the government haspassed a law made to reduce the use of cash to the barest minimum.
3.      PHCN is looking to increase the tariffs forelectricity consumption.
4.      FRSC has burdened us with impending penaltiesfor those who are yet to change their plate numbers to the new plates theyintroduced last year. That’s another N42,000 we are being made to pay when allthese new plates feature is the new characters being in reverse and a map ofNigeria.
5.      Toll collecting at the Lekki plaza.

On Jan. 1, 2012, the Central Bank of Nigeria says a law hasbeen made to reduce the use of cash drastically in Lagos state for starters. Ithas been said that in a bid to be like ‘advanced’ countries, they are lookingto operate a cashless economy in Nigeria.

The penalty for carrying cash around now is some ridiculouspercentage being taken by the bank when/if you decide pay it into one; this lawdoes not only apply to companies or corporate bodies, because individuals toowill be made to part with a sizeable chunk of their money should they want todeposit or withdraw any amount above N150,000 (individuals) and N1,000,000(corporate bodies).

I think some of these policies are good and quiteprogressive, but you do not buy an extra tire before you own a car, or buy aticket without first owning a visa.

With a country like ours, where people are majorly un-bankedand do not care; is it sensible to now make it even worse for them to put theirmoney in the said banks?

Will this not increase the amount of money that will be incirculation for even the ‘banked’ populace?

MERRY CHRISTMAS y'all..!!!

2011-12-24T23:27:00.001+01:00

From all of us at GLAZEGONEWILD.com, we want to take time to wish you all a very merry Christmas. May all the love that the season represents be shared amongst us all.

N.B: Its official! Today, we crossed our target for year 2011 at GLAZEGONEWILD.com; We now have over 10,000 pageviews!!! *whoop whoop*. We couldn't have done it without you wonderful guys. We love all our readers dearly. Especially YOU!

Have lots and lots of fun..

Melanie Amaro wins X Factor USA..

2011-12-24T01:27:00.001+01:00

Melanie after she was announced the winner

"The X Factor USA" crowned its first winner, girl-category member Melanie Amaro on Thursday night (Dec. 22), in a finale that came down to her, boy-category member Chris Rene and over-30s-category member Josh Krajcik.

Melanie Amaro's victory, was quite a shock to me because I totally thought Chris Rene had this one in the bag. On one hand, Melanie had one of the best initial auditions (if not the best) we've ever seen; Beyonce's 'Listen' received the best rendition anyone could ever give it. She has also been really strong week in and week out on the show.

On the other hand, there hasn't been a female winner of "American Idol" since Jordin Sparks in Season 6, which was four and a half years ago. I honestly wasn't sure a girl could win one of these singing competition shows anymore, regardless of how talented she is e.g Glo Naija Sings. It seemed Melanie and American voters have proven us wrong. Congratulations to her, but I'd always be a Chris Rene fan :-p

How do you feel, Naija "X Factor" fans? Did the right person win the competition?

Chris Rene

Josh Krajcik

Sexy or skanky?

2011-12-22T19:43:00.000+01:00

Ssup guys!

This was taken recently on one of my nights out.. Is this stuff we want to keep seeing? You tell me :D.

Confidence?

2011-12-16T16:31:00.001+01:00

Howdy y’all?!

My parents and I happened to bewatching the ‘X Factor USA’ last week ago; and my dad kept going on about howmuch confidence Astro (a contestant on the show) has for a 14 year old kid andI could not help but flip. Every time, Nigerians always compare their kids totheir age-mates in the diaspora.

“Michael Jackson started singing at the age of 5!”

“Madonna’s daughter has started designing her own make-upline at 14!”…. Yada yada yada.

I had to tell him that it’s easyfor them to say kids abroad have the confidence we so very openly lack in thispart of the world due to a structural defect that many have tagged ‘culture’.In Yankee and Jand where they are said to lack cultural values that we so dearlyhold to our hearts, they are progressing at speeds unimaginable to us even ifwe all slept and dreamt the very same dream.

Over there, elders, teachers,household staff etc. are addressed by their names, i.e. Mr Paul, Mrs Paula (formally)and their first names (informally). This is unlike Nigeria, where the merethought of calling a neighbour you absolutely have no relations of any sortwith ‘Mr or Mrs’. You will be castigated as a child who is full of pride andabsolutely no respect for anyone.

It is so crazy that even in anofficial setting; I cannot in my capacity as the boss properly scold an erringdriver, gateman or subordinate who is older than I am without becoming thedevil that wears Prada. I do not understand how in a country/culture that any,and I mean ANY random person can send you on futile and useless errands justbecause they are older than you, a child is expected to have confidence.

The confidence that probablywould fetch you the ass-whooping of your life, when that ‘aunty or uncle’ thatbears that title only because he comes from the same geo-political zone as yourmom or dad or he/she owns a shop on your street reports that sole act ofinsubordination to your parents. The confidence that has been sucked by parentsand teachers who would do wrong and punish us for questioning such actions.

The very confidence that we havebeen brought up to lack, even when the requests of theseso-called elderly people are discordant with logic. This same FEAR for elderswhich we have been raised with has caused woe, sadness, absolute sorrow andeven death to the families of those little girls that have been raped becausean‘UNKU’ sent them on an errand, the young boys that have been kidnappedbecause their teachers told them to wait behind after school, or the men/womencaught with drugs or body parts because they had too much respect for the‘elder’ that gave them the package, that they could not even ask what it wasthey were transporting.

The respect that has seen manydreams die with their owners because they didn’t in their prime, have theaudacity to question or alter the ideas of a boss or superior who probably hadnothing to offer.

Jim Iyke getting his butt sued..

2011-11-15T23:04:00.001+01:00

According to the Police Prosecutor, Mr Chijoke Okezie, oneHabiba Abubakar wrote a petition to the Inspector General of Police (IG) toinvestigate the fraud. Read on....

And during investigation, they discovered that the actor deceived Abubakar intoacquiring 15 per cent equity shares to the tune of N15 million from hiscompany, Untamed Records Ltd.

The police said that Jim has admitted that the money was truly paid into hisOceanic Bank account No. 00500173691. And the police claimed that the money hassince been used by the actor for personal matter instead of for the initialplans.

The police also said that when Abubakar confronted the actor, he beat her upand threatened to kill her.

Jim Iyke is now being charged with criminal breach of trust, criminal force,assault, cheating and criminal misappropriation which contravened sections312,265,322 397 and 309 of the Penal Code.

The actor pleaded not guilty to the charges.

His lawyer, Esther Uzoma, made an oral bail application for the accused inpursuit of section 341(2) of the Criminal Procedural Code.

She prayed the court to grant the accused bail on liberal terms and for self-recognition,and promised that the accused would not jump bail.

Chief Magistrate Okeagu Azubike said that the bail application had merit andgranted the accused bail in the sum of N500, 000 with two sureties in like sum.

He ordered that the sureties must be responsible Nigerians who must residewithin the jurisdiction of the court.

He adjourned the case to the 9th of December 2011.

It’s seems to us like love story gone sour.

Jim Iyke cupping a feel..

Kim Kardashian slept with Kanye?!

2011-11-15T23:00:00.001+01:00

Did Kim Kardashian allegedly sleep with Kanye Westweeks after her break up with Reggie Bush?! Amber Rose, Kanye West’s ex spokewith Wendy Williams and riled up the rumor mill when she didn’t deny an affairbetween West and Kim K. Amber was long considered the brief rebound girl forReggie Bush following his break up with Kim but the rumors were neverconfirmed. Wendy Williams found a way to get the truth – and it wasn’t hard.

Without explicitly stating they did the “do”, Amber roseinstead called their brief romance, “nice”.

“One thing about me is that I’m not a home wrecker. I wouldnever date a man that’s in a relationship or a married man. I just wouldn’t doit,” she tells Wendy.

“I broke up with Kanye west and he broke up with KimKardashian and we met right after. We were both going through a hard time so wewere like each other’s rebounds basically. It was brief, it was nice and he’s agreat guy.” Hmm…interpret how you like.

And on Kim Kardashian and Kanye West? Amber Rose's reactionwas very short of her shouting, Yes!

Nigeria's Next Top Models?

2011-11-15T22:52:00.001+01:00

“Nigeria’s Next Top Model” was scheduled to become a regularweekly reality TV series seen not only in Nigeria but many other Africancountries. They however were not able to secure the official rights toofficially use the Top Model name. They decided instead to hold a one-nightonly competition in London.

The selection criteria for contestants included women onlybetween the ages of 18 and 28, a minimum height of 5.8”, could not wear morethan a size 12 dress, engaged in formal studies/professional career woman andNigerian by birth, parentage, grand parentage which they reserve the right toask that the contestant prove this fact at any time. The overall winner of thecompetition would receive:

Worldwide recognition as the Nigerian Top Model 2007 andfeatured on TV, Radio and Print advertising campaigns and fashion promotionalcampaigns and events.
Features in prominent ethnic and mainstream UK magazines.
The opportunity to be showcased as the ‘Face of New Nigeria’as part of the ongoing ‘Heart of Africa’ re-branding campaign.
Opportunity to take part aboard the CATWALK THE WORLDCharity Fashion Event in Johannesburg South Africa.
Sessions with award winning professional photographers inorder that enviable professional model portfolios can be put together
A cash prize of £1000.
Wardrobe maintenance for the year.
A working holiday trip to Nigeria as part of the worldwideexposure campaign to work aboard UNICEF projects in Nigeria with youngchildren.
Free spa weekend.
Editorial spread and photo shoot courtesy of the veryexcellent Diamond Touch Magazine and top class couturier.
Make up sessions with a leading makeup artist to the stars –MINK Cosmetics.
Several styling sessions with award winning hair stylists.
Free nail and body care maintenance for the whole yearcourtesy of Harriet Stein – Beauty Inn – London
Plus many other prizes.

I hope the promo pic below is a spoof.. It has to be.

Glo Naija Sings finally over!

2011-11-15T22:11:00.001+01:00

After weeks of thrilling performances and all, Abuja basedupcoming singer Christian has become the winner of Glo NaijaSings season 3!Christian was announced winner this evening, Sunday,November 13, 2011 at the tail end of a spectacular finale.

The grand finale was spiced up with guest performances fromdiva Onyeka Onwenu(who performed with the top 10), IdolsWest Africa alumni Omawumi, Season 2’s winner KayCee andthe host of the show Darey.

Singer/producer eLDee alsomade an appearance.

It was quite cool to watch the three finalists Vicky,Mattade and eventual winner Christian pair up with Mo’Cheddah,Jaywon and Davido respectively as they struggled with the lyrics of the songs as they each performedduets. lol.

National honours or Sallah meat?

2011-11-15T22:03:00.001+01:00

Stakeholders in the Nigerian entertainment sector havereasons to celebrate as some of their own were proud recipients of prestigiousnational awards conferred on them by the President, Dr Goodluck Ebele Jonathanon Sunday, November 13, 2011.

Those conferred the award of Member of the FederalRepublic (MFR), include veteran actor, Olu Jacobs, actor turnedpolitician, Kanayo O Kanayo, one-half of the ‘Aki and Pawpaw’duo, Osita Iheme, producer and director, Amaka Igwe,and Nollywood divas Stephanie Okereke and GenevieveNnaji.

Meanwhile, respected pioneer African novelist and renownedauthor of bestselling epic novel ‘Things Fall Apart’,Professor Chinua Achebe, has again rejected the national award of Commanderof the Federal Republic (CFR) awarded to him by the federal government.

Chinua Achebe

The professor of Africana studies at Brown University,United States, rejected the award on the ground that the concerns he raisedwhen he first rejected the award in 2004 remain unresolved and it was‘inappropriate’ for the government to offer him the award again.

It will be recalled that 81 year old Professor Achebe hadearlier turned down the same award by the Olusegun Obasanjo governmentin 2004, lamenting the corroding influence of a certain ‘clique of renegades,openly boasting its connections in high places’, who seem ‘determined to turnmy homeland into a bankrupt and lawless fiefdom. I am appalled by thebrazenness of this clique and the silence, if not connivance, of thePresidency’.

Now that is one man I respect!

Female Blackberry Thief stripped naked (NSFW)..

2011-11-13T22:46:00.001+01:00

I dislike violence.
I hate violence against women particularly.

Click this link to watch video

Not to be encouraged..

Ik and wife expecting second child..

2011-11-09T22:35:00.000+01:00

The young couple who got married in 2008 are expecting theirsecond child. Their marriage has already been blessed with a two and a halfyear son.

IK is a top TV presenter and radio personality in withRhythm 93.7 in Nigeria, his also hosted Big Brother Africa for the past twoyears, while his beautiful wife, Olohi, is an entrepreneur. We wish them allthe best.

Joe Frazer passes following his cancer

2011-11-09T22:22:00.000+01:00

Former Olympic andundisputed World Heavyweight boxing champion Joseph William ‘Joe’Frazier has died at the age of 67 after battling with Liver Cancer.The boxing great passed away last night Monday, November 7, 2011.

Frazier was diagnosed just last month with the disease. Hispersonal and business manager for seven years Leslie Wolff had disclosed the sad news and said he had beenvisiting the hospital where he was receiving treatment.

The 67-year-old boxer popularly called ‘Smokin Joe’ rose to fame after threemomentous fights with boxing legend Muhammad Ali in the ‘70s (including the epic ‘Thrilla inManilla’). Having the record for being the first person to defeat Ali, he lostthe final two and for many years was bitter about the way Ali teased him.

Frazier won the heavyweight title in 1970 by stopping Jimmy Ellis and defended itsuccessfully four times. before George Foreman knocked him down six times inthe first two rounds to take the title from him in 1973.

Uche Jumbo Vs. IC Bank..

2011-11-09T18:03:00.000+01:00

On November 3, 2011; Nollywooddiva Uche Jombo was the cynosure of all eyes at the Surulere branch of IntercontinentalBank.

We gathered that Uche was shouting and screamingat the top of her voice that she wanted to close her four accounts and wants tobe paid for damages. She raised her voice so loud that everyone was in shock.

According to sources, Uche decided to closethese accounts because of bad service with her visa card.

We learnt that she was recently in the States toshoot the concluding part of the Damage trilogy and ran out of cash because thebank messed up her forex account.

WizKid is waking wealth.. lol

2011-11-02T11:54:00.000+01:00

With a schedule that keeps him busy all week; and enquiriesfrom all over the globe, singer Wizkid iscurrently one of the top 5 most wanted pop stars from Nigeria. From a previousengagement fee of N500-700,000, his management we hear has now upped his fee toa minimum of N1.5M with anything from one to three shows per week. Big budgetclients could even be asked for up to N2M and N3M in some cases.

Having so much to spare, the 21-year-old recently acquired a 2010 VW convertible worthN6M (Six million Naira). Big budget videos are also in the offing, as thetrado-themed video for ‘Pakurumo’ will be in circulation real soon.

With a MOBO plaque and Headie in his pouch, and ahit-filled debut album that’s still moving units, the EME act seems poised fora bright future…

WizKid's dad in his son's new ride

Nigerian celebrities born in October..

2011-11-02T11:12:00.000+01:00

October was a very FULL month for me. I want to sincerely apologize for not updating for this long. I have been veeerry busy. With all the events that had the month of October pregnant, shows, parties, birthday celebrations (MY birthday) and me getting a new job.. The month was wonderful.

D Prince

For all those who were born in the month of October, do feel special, because you share the month with movers and shakers of the entertainment industry. Take a look below..

Cossy

Flowsick

Dr Frabz

DJ Jimmy Jatt

Ikechukwu

Mo Cheddah

Pretty Mike

Ayo Tobun

Wande Coal

Glaze

Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries divorce.. (Animation)

2011-11-02T10:44:00.000+01:00

Everyone has been sharing their thoughts andtheories about Kim Kardashian's short-lived marriage tobasketball player Kris Humphries. Their marriage lasted just 72 days, and nowit has been claimed that Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries' nuptials was a hoax'right from the start'.

The divorce papers cite "irreconcilable differences"as the reason for the split, though it is alleged Kim was 'never really into'her husband, but went along with the wedding as a 'publicity stunt'. To thinkthat the couple not only managed to NOT pay a dime for their estimated$10-million wedding ceremony, but also, and most importantly, rumoured to haverecieved a handsome $17.9 million to get married in front of the cameras isabsolutely stunning.

In her words, she says “First and foremost, Imarried for love. I can’t believe I even have to defend this. I would not havespent so much time on something just for a TV show!” Hmmnn, to every man histhoughts…

Nadia Buari's sex tape - NOT!!

2011-10-18T21:35:00.000+01:00

Recently, the Naija twitter atmosphere has been set ablaze by 3 sex-related stories. First, it was rumoured that the young and fast-rising music artiste - WizKid was in a sex tape with a big lady which was immediately cleared as just a case of resemblance;

The second story was that Ghollywood/Nollywood actress - Nadia Buari was featured in a sex tape where she was kpanshed by a male porn-star and the third and most recent was that of Amber Cole - a 14 year old girl caught on camera giving oral sex to a male student on school grounds, which was actually the only true story.

I can say this because glazegonewild.com has done its research, and can exclusively tell you that the lady in the said video is NOT Nadia Buari, but a porn actress who goes by the name of Roxie West! And if I must say, they do bear so much of a striking resemblance that it is infact very scary..

Check out the pic below:

Ikechukwu's Birthday with Gf..

2011-10-18T20:26:00.001+01:00

Last week, Ikechukwu had a gig with his boo - Sarah Ofili and a couple of friends to celebrate his birthday. It was nothing too loud, but he obviously had fun as you can see in the pictures below. Many more years to come bruv..

Permanent? I hope not..

2011-10-18T20:14:00.001+01:00

In the spirit of 'love' - I guess. Selena Gomez showed off what happened to look like a tattoo of her boyfriend's - Justin Beiber's name on the inside of her right wrist. I do not have anything against tattoos especially when its not on your face or head, but I am not a fan of tattooing names of partners, spouses or even one-night stands on your body. The relationship ain't set in stone!

Anyway, it was a relief to find upon closer inspection that it was probably pre-performance jitters that got her fiddling with a marker... To be wiped after the show..lol

Ways to spot A Good Man..

2011-10-18T20:00:00.000+01:00

Firstly, I would like to send a big shout out to my M.I.A brother, the blackest of US all - Wande Coal! Today is his birthday and I hope he has the best.

In other news, below is a list of ways by which the ladies among you can spot the 'good ones' in a group of guys. Considering our culture and ways of life, I do not totally agree with all of them.. but its still a cool guide I whipped up. Enjoy!

1. Are first and foremost, gentlemen. They arepolite, respectful, considerate and attentive to a woman’s needs. They open thedoor, pull her chair, lend their coat, offer to escort her home, pay for thedinner and kiss her goodbye on the cheek not on the lips. Good guys never crossthe line of being inappropriate.

2. He’s Patient–A real man won’t try to force you to bewith him. He’ll try to impress you and convince you that he’s worthyour time, but he won’t force you to do anything. If you find a real man youwon’t have to worry about unwanted groping, date violation, or worse. He’lltake the time to get to know you and take things at a speed you’re comfortablewith. A real man will wait for you to open your arms to him. Good guys arehumble guys. They don’t need to beat themselves in the chest to show they arebetter, stronger, smarter, more successful or more handsome than other men. Theego is the enemy of good guys and they usually have it under control.

3. Write cards, send text messages, buy flowers and cookdinners for a woman as an act of thoughtfulness. Good guys don’t need anoccasion to express their love. They just do it spontaneously. See their womanas the most beautiful, glorious, magnificent and unique woman in the entireUniverse! Other beautiful women may catch a good guy’s eye but his heart andsoul belong to her!

4. Are not intimidated by strong women. Good guys arenot threatened by women who speak their minds, have different opinions, showpassion or the causes they believe in or perhaps, earn more money than them.They see strong women as a gift to society because they are the ones who havethe power to change things for the better.

5. Are supportive to woman’s personal and career goals.Theyunderstand the importance of individual growth outside the relationship realm.Good guys see their woman’s success as their own success. Therefore, theyprefer to encourage her to move forward as opposed to oppress her desires forexpansion.

6. Keep their word. If they promised to call, stop by,take you out or do anything else, they stick to their promise. If theyare unable to fulfill their promise, good guys have a sensible explanation…nota lame excuse.

7. Are not jealous. Good guys don’t require fora woman to check with them every single hour, to give them detailed reports onwho she’s speaking to on the phone, to document every one of her activities orto follow everywhere she goes. They are secure enough in themselves to need aconstant reaffirmation of the status of their relationship.

8. He’s Flexible –A real man might not be ableto touch his own toes; but he will be able to sleep on concrete, wear the sameclothes for days, and survive for indefinite periods of time in beer andnoodles. Any man who says he couldn’t survive under the same conditions iseither lying to appeal to your fair nose or is hiding a sex change. If he’sbeing real with you, he’ll admit to his, um, flexibility when it comes tolifestyle options. How is this good for you? A real man’s flexibility meanshe’ll be able to take your ups and downs, curves and flats, and wild ideas instride. If a real man loves you, he’ll flex to you. That’s huge.

9. Will find time and place for you no matter how busyand crazy their schedule may be. Good guys never use the excuse, “Sorry,but I was busy with work.” If they want to be with you, they will movemountains, sail oceans, cross continents, fly countries and do anything theycan to be with their special woman.

10. Don’t use past relationship disappointments asexcuses to why they don’t want to commit to a woman. What happened in thepast, stays there. What’s important is the here and the now…and that is YOU!

11. Have achieved a balance in their lives on their own. Goodguys have invested enough time in all aspects in their development – family,education, career, health, hobbies, interests and sports. They are happy withwho they are and are satisfied with their lives.

12. Are in touch with their romantic side. Theyare not afraid to express their emotions, talk about their feelings, show theirinterest and do it in the most romantic ways possible. Good guys can make awoman’s heart melt from miles away just by opening their romantic side andletting the love flow. Make love to a woman’s soul at the same time as herbody. Merging with her soul is their ultimate goal…not just a mere heavenlyfeeling.

Happy Birthday Mo Cheddah..

2011-10-16T22:39:00.000+01:00

Mo Cheddah & I

Really tired right now. I have been busy all day and did some long distance 'movement'.. I'm just going to crash after this post (i hope), but before I go to bed; I want to say a big Happy birthday to one of my many sweethearts Mo Cheddah. A cutie and a fellow October baby #TeamScorpio.
Yes, I know it's late but it's better than never - right? Live your dreams girl. xo

XtraCool BBM..

2011-10-14T22:23:00.003+01:00

Okay..,

I've been holding back on the urge to do this weird bit of 'calling out'. This one is for all the Naija girls who keep going on about how they can never date or respect a guy who calls them after 12 midnight. For Heaven's sake, if you happen to be awake at that time - why not?! If it happens to be a member of your family, or even a crush, or boy/girl-friend, would you not pick the call?
It IS a voice call, and its going to cost the dude (except he is a total creep who has a sim card that is permanently loaded with N100, no more, no less). I do not advocate the inconveniencing of other people just because 'you can't sleep' but in the same vein, I totally applaud the genius that invented the silent function on the mobile phone. Even chinko phones have it and if you are put off by a nuisance caller, use it and throw your phone under the pillow!

Anyway, I'm doing this finally because I have some maths to share with you guys..

Midnight caller: N100 x 30 days = N3,000

Badt Guy/Babe BIS: N2,800

If you do not pick the call, or you pick the call and talk for two minutes - it's all up to YOU! So shut it and stop complaining about a 30 minutes call when you stay up all night pinging..

Is Beyonce carrying a fake baby?

2011-10-14T21:52:00.001+01:00

Howdy guys!

Twitter was set ablaze last week by 'tweeps' talking about Beyoncé’s apparently prosthetic baby bump. A fellow blog-owner (Sandra Rose) did what my friends calling 'marching P'. She basically is burnt that B feels us stupid to think that she can fool us all by faking to be preggo.

On the show, Beyonce was there about to take a seat on the set — and tada! Her prosthetic baby bump was folding, crumpling and collapsing for all in full, vibranthigh definition!

Luckily for her, the prosthetic is the memoryfoam type that bounced right back into shape. The major rumour is that Beyoncé iswearing a fake prosthetic while an unknown surrogate who is due in Febuary carries her(the) baby to term.

What I feel...? Very very possible.

N.B - I am not a Beyonce hater :[. She just has too many people on her team and without her father to guide her, she might have fallen for a nut-case's suggestion. #Shikena!

Beyonce Accused of Stealing Dance Moves for 'Countdown'

2011-10-10T22:22:00.000+01:00

Hi guys!

Last week, Beyoncé unveiled her new music video for "Countdown,". However, it has got her facing plagiarism accusations. While well-known films gave "Countdown" its style, the dance moves were lifted (pilfered, fapped), without credit, from the works of Belgian choreographer Anne Teresa De Keersmaeker. Watch the video, and see for yourself that the similarities are too close to ignore.

"I didn't know anything about this. I'm not mad, but this is plagiarism. This is stealing," the dancer De Keersmaeker said.

"What's rude about it is that they don't even bother about hiding it. They seem to think they could do it because it's a famous work. Am I honored? Look, I've seen local school kids doing this. That's a lot more beautiful."

This isn't the first time a Beyoncé's performance has been met with accusations of ripping off some other artist: Her mind-blowing rendition of "Run the World (Girls)" at the Billboard Music Awards was instantly met with claims that the singer borrowed heavily from the similar screen projection work of Italian singer Lorella Cuccarini. Digital artist Kenzo Digital, who worked on that Beyoncé performance, revealed that Cuccarini's use of the white screen is what initially inspired Beyoncé's team to go a similar route, but when that technology was used by someone as talented as Knowles, it was catapulted to another level. The video's director, Adria Petty (Tom Petty's daughter), admitted that the dance moves were borrowed from Europe. "I brought Beyoncé a number of references and we picked some out together. Most were German modern-dance references, believe it or not. But it really evolved," Petty said; but judging by the side-by-side comparison, this is pure 'dance-move-napping'.

GARBAGE?!

2011-10-06T19:16:00.003+01:00

Lagosians won’t kill me o..!

I was at the Sunshine Chinese Restaurant last weekend, wentto grab some prawns and soup with a friend. It was a nice quiet outing, atleast until some loud elderly man walked in with some babe who was too young tobe his wife, and too disrespectful to be his daughter.

The man ordered for some rice and sauce while his ‘friend’added a portion of salad to hers. They sat on the table next to us andconstituted a nuisance until their order came through. He kept ‘name-dropping’and trying way too hard to impress the babe in his very poor spoken English.

While eating, the young lady decided to be ‘romantic’ andfed him some of her salad. The man exclaimed about how good it tasted andliterally screamed across the dining area beckoning the waiter stationed nearthe bar to ask what was put in the salad. The waiter returned minutes latertelling him what was put in it, but the man kept calling out after the waiter.

“Okay! Carrot!”

“Spring onions, yes!”

“Lettuce!”

“Beans, alright!”

“GARBAGE?!.. You put garbage in it too?”

At this point, I who was very pissed at the man’s previousbehaviour could help it no more. I had to laugh myself out of the restaurant when I realized he meant Cabbage. Ireally don’t know where they get these kinds of people from. So, in case I askyou get me some salad… do make sure it contains some garbage please. LOL

SEX PLAYLIST...

2011-10-04T16:58:00.000+01:00

Sex is not a new word. In fact, our generation has made itone of the ‘Top 3 Most Searched for Words’ on the internet; so let’s not actfunny, cover our ears or make negative remarks whenever it is spoken of. It isnot to be encouraged and we all know and have been advised to abstain from itto avoid STDs and most of all unwanted babies for the ladies.

Knowing how hard it is for us youths to literally get oureyes and hands off each other, sex has become the new ‘hide and seek’. Anyway,I’m not here to preach on abstinence or how to keep your virginity, it’sprobably too late for that. Well, I believe if it has to be done, protection is a MUST and sex shouldn't be boring when it can be spiced up. Foreplay and everything is helpful, but Iprefer having a music playlist.

A playlist should include songs that connect to anindividual sexually, it can vary but slow and sensual is always better. Itweeted about this once and asked for suggestions for mine. I got a lot ofreplies surprisingly, a sign that peeps encourage this as a way of spicing onessex life. Here are some songs that were recommended:

Motivation - Kelly Rowland ft. Lil Wayne
Say It - Neyo
The way you are - Darey
Neighbors know my name - Trey Songs
Cupid - Lloyd
Quickie - Miguel
One Naira - M.I ft. Waje
Fall For Your Type - Jamie Foxx
Body - Pheel
Crying Out For Me - Mario
Twisted - Keith Sweat
I want to know - Joe
That Body - Jeremiah
Love Faces - Trey Songs
Relate - Faze
I’ld Make Love to You - Boys 2 Men
Invented sex Remix - Trey Songs ft. Usher and Keri Hilson
There Goes My Baby - Usher
Addiction - Ryan Leslie ft Cassie and Fabulous
Cater to you - Destiny's Child
Find your Love - Drake
You are my rock - Beyonce
Bound to you - Christiana Aguilera
Ride it - Jay Sean
Pyramid - Charice ft. Iyaz
Heaven Sent Remix - Keisha Cole ft. Mario
Number 1 sex - R. Kelly ft. Keri Hilson
Key to my heart – Craig David
One night stand – Keri Hilson

Written by: Collette Otsu

Happy 51st Independence Nigeria..

2011-10-01T17:41:00.003+01:00

To start with, I want to say..

Congratulations to you all!
You have been wonderful citizens of a country that has plagued us with many insecurities and uncertainties since its very inception. Wide-spread scarcity of resources we have been abundantly endowed with, loss of lives that could have been spared, loss of jobs that were never even sufficient to live on and epileptic power supply.

Those that say only the strong survive must have met with every reader of this post. You have made it through all that; And no matter what our bank balances say, or the fact that we can't even watch the Independence Day Parade because PHCN needs no Federal confirmation before they declare a public holiday of their own. We will dance, celebrate, make merry and hope for a better tomorrow. Thumbs up to everyone hosting a show of any sort during this period.. We deserve it!

On a lighter note though, below are some 're-mixed' quotes.. Enjoy! :)

1. He who fights and runs away..

.. is a sharp guy.

2. He who lives in a glass house..

.. wants to show off his furniture.

3. Half bread..

.. someone caught you while trying to stealthe whole loaf.

4. One good turn..

.. prevents a slap from the back seat byyour boss.

5. A journey of a thousand miles..

.. submit your form at the embassy.

6. He who laughs last..

.. didn’t get the joke.

7. A stitch in time..

.. means you don’t have a spare shirt.

Naija in N.Y..

2011-09-30T19:51:00.003+01:00

I was reading the papers yesterday and amidst all the bombs,rapes, new license plates and SIM registration wahala, I found some humour;lol. It was said that Diplomats from all over the world owe the city of NewYork $17million (about N2,635,000,000) in parking fines.

The funny/pitiablething here is that our very own Nigeria is chilling comfortably in the Top 3.

Egypt has got the number 1 debtor spot with $1.9m, number 2goes to Nigeria with about $1m and Indonesia closes the list at number 3 with$725,000 in unpaid parking fines . Even in Yankee, our very own top governmentofficials are forming bad guys and not paying bills they could have avoided ifonly they parked in the right places. Anyway, I wish them luck because New Yorkcity has proposed to the US State department that the diplomatic licenses ofdebtor countries should not be renewed.

It’s just Glaze asking.. Part 2

2011-09-28T19:26:00.003+01:00

Does Denrele ever drive in those his hill-like shoes?
Is I.D Cabasa entering the social circles once more with the release of Olamide's 'Omo to shan' video?
What was D' Prince thinking opening a club called 'Jonzing' (former Clubs Karma & SQ) in V.I.. Is he trying to compete with Koko Lounge?
Does Davido's father's substantial wealth in any way discredit his 'Back when' song where he claims to have been broke?
Can we say Montana Fishburne's (Larry Fishburne's daughter) misguided sojourn into the world of porn was a total flop?
Is Tiwa Savage that ugly without her make-up on?
Ten years from now, would WizKid change his name to WizDaddy?
Is Karen Higo going to disappear just like most of the former Big Brother Africa contestants/winners, or she'll remain visible on the social scene?

Tyler Perry tops Hollywood's Top Earners list..

2011-09-23T18:18:00.001+01:00

So, apparently Forbes has named Americanactor, director, playwright, screenwriter, producer, author, and songwriter (whew!) TylerPerry as the highest paid man in Hollywood.

Atlanta, Georgia based Tyler Perry ranks number one on thelist with total gross earnings of $130 million (One Hundredand Thirty million dollars). Jerry Bruckheimer and StevenSpielberg do follow closely in second ($113 million) and third ($107million) positions respectively.

In 2005, he released his first film, Dairy of aMad Black Woman and has won over 20 awards - and counting,including the MTV Movie Awards 'Best Comedic Performance'.

Below is the list released...

Tyler Perry

Tyler Perry - $130 million

Jerry Bruckheimer - $113 million

Steven Spielberg - $107 million

Elton John - $100 million

Simon Cowell - $90 million

James Patterson - $84 million

Dr. Phil McGraw - $80 million

Leonardo DiCaprio - $77 million

Howard Stern - $76 million

Tiger Woods - $75 million

2011-09-23T18:03:00.000+01:00

Never let go of your dreams.

Tomorrow is only hours away,

And lives have been changed in seconds....

MC Loph, The Osondi Owendi Crooner Dies in Car Crash..

2011-09-14T17:25:00.000+01:00

Reports hitting the rumour mills hours ago stated that the rapper known as MC Loph whose biggest hit was the remake of the song Osondi Owendi was dead. After looking out for verifications, even following the release of photos I consider too gory for this website, we can say the story is indeed true.

Even more painful is the fact that the artiste was on his way to his home town -Anambra for his traditional wedding. There has been news that his fiancee was with him in the car, but we cannot say how true that is. I want to say that the hearts of those of us at glazegonewild.com goes out to his family and loved ones; And may the Lord save our industry from these fatal car crashes.

Big Brother Africa Amplified Shutdown

2011-08-01T19:54:00.002+01:00

Yesterday was a memorable day for almost all Africans, who up until the inability to watch Channel 198 on Dstv dawned on them were Big Brother fans. This year, the organisers in conjunction with Coca-Cola promised viewers a ‘louder and bigger’ version of what we were used to; and they delivered.

Some people argue that there was nothing ‘amplified’ about the show apart from the fact that this year, TWO contestants went home with a cash prize of $200,000 EACH. I beg to differ though, because even a blind man should have seen that the crop of housemates in the BBA Amplified house were selected with a preference – ink and/or metal. They obviously went for those who were presumed loud.

Anyway, after 91 days of 24 hours surveillance and lots of laughs, tears, conflicts, chemistry, faking, harsh words and love sparks; the show came to an end with Nigeria’s own Karen Higo and Zimbabwe’s Wendall emerging the top two. The shocking twist to it all is Wendall was an absolute minority figure in the house; No one was disturbed by him and I’m certain none saw him as a major threat. Polls across Africa had placed the cash prizes in the hands of South Africa’s Luclay and Naija’s Karen, who during the show had been dubbed Mr & Mrs Otono even up till the deciding moment. It was a rude shock to most that Wendall came out of nowhere to win. Well, Africa voted, they counted and Glaze is ecstatic that his home-girl Karen won – whoop whoop!

Here’s how the votes went:

Karen: 6 country votes - Nigeria, Angola, Rest of Africa, Ghana, Mozambique, Tanzania

Wendall: 4 country votes - Zambia, Zimbabwe, Namibia, Kenya

Luclay: 2 country votes - South Africa, Botswana

Lomwe: 1 country vote - Malawi

Sharon O: 1 country vote - Uganda

Hanni: 1 country vote - Ethiopia

Vina: 0 Country Votes.

Banky W Vs. Lynxxx

2011-08-01T19:24:00.002+01:00

Howdy y'all?

You know, its funny when you see one mythical god bearing a totally different name just because it is a whole new geographical zone. Just like the head of the gods being Zeus to the Greeks and Jupiter to the Romans. It's okay when they don't live within the same border or territory; But when they do... It becomes an issue for us 'mere humans'..lol.

So, I want you guys(GIRLS) to tell me how mischievous you think these two were feeling when they decided to make the collabo titled 'alabukun' - which is a pain-killer by the way. They knew they were going to obviously give some ladies headaches and stuff...lol.

Anyway, who do you think is hotter? Comment and let us know.

Black Republic Lounge (Official Launch Today!)

2011-06-17T16:14:00.000+01:00

Hey y'all!

Today, the 17th of June marks a very special day in the history of 'mainland chilling'... It's the launch of the Black Republic Lounge; A chill-out spot located at a very central site on the mainland. Cold drinks, suya, asun and bites on demand. We are going to be celebrating from 7pm today. Feel free to join us at 11, Oladejo Str. Off Olurunfunmi Str., Oregun-Ojota.

#SoSaysGlaze

LWKMD

2011-05-22T17:52:00.002+01:00

(Some) Nigerian Artistes are actually thinking..

2011-05-22T17:51:00.000+01:00

It is usual here for us to verbally spank artistes who go into the studios only to come out with stuff that makes us question their level of intelligence before we give ourselves a mental b***h-slap for even listening to their music. We get a lot of thumbs-up for that, but we are no sadists. We also want to be known for giving same thumbs-up to the artistes doing well and making good music. Some have been spotted and reviewed here:

SLK

• For a song that weighs heavy in terms of a powerful voice and lyrical content without losing the Naija feel. We give a G-salute to SLK for her song ‘Darling’… It’s definitely a replay candidate.

• We are a party country, yes we are. The Yorubas and Ibos are known to top this chart in frequency, but the Hausas are also not left out. So a little something for them was not bad… A G-salute to Darey for ‘Ba ni kidi'.

• She declines to answer, but we can! And we say a G-salute goes to Omawumi for the song ‘If you ask me’. Wonderful plot with the waffi touch.

• A Grammy nomination isn’t out of her reach if she continues like this, but a G-salute she has bagged already. Tiwa Savage for ‘Love me, love me, love me'. Go girl! We love you much.

• The dude known as Pheel has got me feeling his ‘Body’ track. Voice and instrumental on point like a G-salute. It’s a fun song, good to serenade with. Lol.

• Just like Shaggy of years back, it seems the foreign based ragga act known as Baba Dee has finally seen the light in commercial music, because you can’t but move to his ‘Ye Ma Sa' track. Club banger material, G-salute recipient.

Fashion Fad:

2011-05-22T16:47:00.000+01:00

It’s a common sight on the streets on Lagos. You can’t but notice them. Formerly white or black devices but now they come in various colours – earphones. With the influx of multi-media devices and mobile phones that have risen in large numbers recently, earphones and headphones are everywhere.

Notwithstanding, there are some of them that make most people do a double take. The Beats by Dr Dre headphones. Though now more of a fashion statement, they are quite powerful in delivery.

BBA Amplified Spotlight: Ms Karen Igho

2011-05-09T14:03:00.001+01:00

One of the Nigerians chosen to rep us in the BBA Amplified house, Ms Karen Igho who is 5' 3inches, 27 yrs old and an indegene of Delta State is a Southwark college, London graduate where she studied Theatre Arts.
Even though she stayed in the United Kingdom for 7 years and has worked as a model, she is no stranger to reality TV in Nigeria. She already took part in the 2008 edition of the Next Movie Star.

An obvious tattoos and piercing fan she is, as is very evident all over her body. She's a wild one, but a very nice person and even quiet sometimes. That much I can say, because (drum-roll), she was yours truly's date to the Dynamix All-Youth Awards last year. Yes Boss! Glaze does roll with and makes stars ;)... lol.

In November 2007, she paid £4 ,000 for breast implants and a further £250 each night for 5 nights, the surgery got her from a BB cup to a DD. blah blah blah... We know and can see Karen had breast implants. So y'all can like to drop the topic. Big Brother Amplified is on the way already with Karen Igho repping for Naija. Good luck to you girl!

This Moment..

2011-05-09T12:54:00.000+01:00

“In this very moment, I’m King..”

So it says in Nicki Minaj’s single ‘Moment for life’.

At some point in our lives, we have to take charge of things that happen to us; Or at least be responsible for the effect that we allow such events to have on us. We are all capable of changing outcomes or at best channelling negative energies into positive endeavours.

In every moment, we are either masters of our time, or slaves to our actions...

Change starts with individuals. We are responsible for each other.

Quote of the week..

2011-04-07T04:09:00.000+01:00

You must look into other people as well as at them.

Lord Chesterfield

Aries AllStars (Party with Aprils Blokes & Divas)

2011-03-27T21:50:00.002+01:00

It's another April, apparently the only one in the year 2011. And if you are wondering what's special about the month apart from the popular prank 'April Fool', your answer is Aries Allstars. It's simply a birthday celebration collaboration of the badt guys and girls born in the month.

Asking who they are?

Gbolahan 'Flyest' Familusi
Thobbie
Gbale Williams
Laolu 'CampusHeat' Babalola
Sir Dudus Coke
Eniola Falowo
Jimi Jimba
Naira
Yinka 'Teddy Curt'
TuBosun G6 ADU
Bolu Fisher
Jumoke JaayCarter
Mr Dre Phantom

It's going down live on the night of April 1 at the Q Club, Ikeja.
This party is proudly supported by #SoSaysGlaze, Dynamix & CampusHeat.

Quote of the week..

2011-03-27T19:03:00.001+01:00

You have enemies? Good. That means you've stood up for something, sometime in your life.

Winston Churchill

Ironies..

2011-03-17T00:28:00.000+01:00

Howdy y'all?

Today is a sad one for all the fans of hip-hop world-wide who for one reason or the other loved the man known as Nate Dogg. He passed on earlier today and he must have trended on Twitter. I send out my sympathies to his family and all those who loved his quite unique voice, but deep down inside of all of us we know the answer to my next question...

How many of us remembered Nate Dogg until today?

Geez, even the new artistes have a hard time trying to stay relevant, not to talk of someone who has (tey-ed) been around for a while...

We all hate and despise the Abachas and IBBs of this world, but we won't mind their wealth.
We all think Lady Gaga is a satanic lunatic, but the 7th most powerful woman in the world ain't no joke.
We all want a British passport, but feel immense pride when we hear the phrase, 'When she goes black, she ain't going back'.
We say foreign movies are fake and full of special effects, but we could give up a lot just for a cameo appearance in one.

As for me, I would honestly say up until today, I only remembered Nate when the shuffle button on my media player was turned on.

Quote of the week..

2011-03-14T22:47:00.001+01:00

The first step in the acquisition of wisdom is silence, the second listening, the third memory, the fourth practice, the fifth teaching others.

-Solomon Ibn Gabriol

Weird MC - The Paper Story..

2011-03-07T21:55:00.000+01:00

Howdy y'all!

It's another day in LasGidi and your boy is chilling like he should.. Today, I want to talk about (actually give props to) the one known as Weird MC and popularly called the Rappatainer. Over the years, new has been synonymous with fresh; But there has to be exceptions to every rule and in this case I can boldly say the Weird one is that exception.

For me, experience is the best thing that can happen to anyone and Weird has proved me right once more. Her new single - 'Jehovah' currently on the airwaves is catchy and fun to listen to, but if you want to appreciate concept creativity, please watch the video. I would be very surprised if that video doesn't win any awards this year. It's straight to the point and very easy to understand. Big Ups to Weird and her team for making me smile.

Big T is officially off limits!!

2011-03-05T23:56:00.002+01:00

Howdy y'all!

Okay, today was a really tiring one. Tried taking a nap and ended up sleeping like a drunk and not achieving much till evening when I was able to get off my butt and go home. Got stuck in mad traffic, but thanks to smart driving (one-way) I made good time. Maybe not so good, but at least I got home before everyone went to bed... he he.

Frank Papas and Big T

In other news, my friend, brother and boss in the person of Mr Tunde Alade (who people call Tunde Dynamix but I call Big T) got hitched today! Yes - hooked. He tied the knot with one of the prettiest, homely and fun to be with ladies this side of freshness..lol. They make a really cute couple and I wish them all the best marriage has to offer. While all these is true, I want to express my disapproval of the perfect snatching of one of the few eligible bachelors from the hands of other single ladies and we his still 'single' hombres.. Lotta love still though.

Quote of the week..

2011-03-02T01:43:00.000+01:00

All women are flirts, but some are restrained by shyness, and others by sense.

Francois De La Rochefoucauld

Its just Glaze asking.. Part 1

2011-02-24T00:48:00.001+01:00

1. Does Kenny Ogungbe of Kennis Music realise he is the CEO or he’s simply going through mid-life crisis?
2. Can’t Skuki come up with any other video concept apart from the ones where they are being chased by someone?

3. Where is ID Cabasa?

4. Is it that Naeto C keeps reminding us with every new video he makes that ‘Kini big deal’ was just a lucky fluke?

5. Did Rainbow 94.1 conduct any oral interviews for its OAPs?

6. Is DJ Jimmy Jatt still all that?

7. Isn’t the iPad just a big iTouch?

8. Has Terry G finally realised the music business

would do a lot better with him in the background?

9. Can anyone decipher the true meaning of ‘ONANA’? Since Rihanna is screaming it in ‘Whats my name’ and Chris Brown is saying the same in ‘Get back up’.

10. Would KAS have a music career if no one invented ‘Autotune’?

Happy New Year guys!!!

2011-01-01T17:04:00.001+01:00

From all of us here at www.archieglaze.blogspot.com, we wish all of you a very
Fun-filled and wonderful 2011. We look forward to having lots of fun together..
We love you all!!!

Overhauling.. Tik tok.

2010-11-12T07:43:00.001+01:00

Due to bigger offers and a more elaborate plan,
we have been forced to go off for a while;
but we promise you the best of general infotainment, gist, sports,
red carpet reviews & entertainment critiques..
It's all for you guys.
Cheers!

N9.6 Billion... WTF?

2010-10-07T18:35:00.000+01:00

Howdy y’all?

I was reading the newspaper yesterday and came across an article on one ‘bros’ who got N9.6 billion richer thanks to a First Bank error. Before you get excited, it becomes boring because the guy returned ALL of it!

I’m a sucker for good *wink behaviour but any one being nice to a bank is messing up the balance because those guys are NEVER nice to you. They cajole, convince, lie and plead to get you to open accounts or take loans from them only to start hounding you around the place. Anyway, the dude who had N3000 in his account went to check his balance and noticed an excess of N9.6 billion. He (a member of the Mountain of Fire church), apparently alerted the bank and lost all that money only to be rewarded by a MUTE and stingy First Bank and the General Overseer of his church – a brand new car, university scholarship and some cash.

Big up yourself dude! It’s an example we all should emulate, but if na me... I’ll return the money o, but not before I buy a solid ride with customized plates boldly carrying the letters C.O.T!

Signs of a Cheating Husband and Infidelity in General...

2010-10-06T21:09:00.000+01:00

Statistics say that 85% of women who feel their lover is cheating are correct and 50% of men who feel their lover is cheating are right. If you have suspicions, consider some of the following and be as impartial as possible.

Have you noticed a:

• Sudden increase in time away from home

• Decreased sexual interest with you

• Cheating spouse is often distracted and day dreaming

• Cheating husband or wife is often “unavailable” while at work

• Cheating spouse attends new functions outside of work or wants to go alone

• Cell phone calls from you are not returned in timely fashion

• Cheating spouse leaves house or goes to other rooms to talk on the telephone

• Cheating spouse uses computer alone and secretly

• Cheating spouse asks about your schedule more often than usual

• Mileage on car is high yet he / she reports only short distance errands

• Clothes smell of perfume or cologne

• Cheating spouse gets his / her laundry done independently

• Unexplained payments on bank statements

• Cheating spouse has more cash on hand without accountability

• Cell phone bills contain calls with long duration

• Cheating spouse now has a phone card but never used one before

• Cheating wife or husband has unexplained receipts in wallet or purse

• Cheating spouse has suspicious phone voice-mail messages

• Cheating spouse has suspicious cell phone numbers stored or dialed

• Internet web browser history list (this is a record of web sites visited) contains unusual sites

• Cheating spouse begins to use new or free e-mail account

• Cheating spouse is suddenly deleting e-mail messages

OGA!!

2010-10-06T20:53:00.000+01:00

This video totally cracks me up.. The dude is crazy!... Lollzz.

Everything na double-double..

2010-09-22T23:10:00.002+01:00

Howdy y'all?

Totally having a laugh as I'm typing. This particular trend was inspired by a friend of mine. She just came up with questions about why Nigerians like to say most things twice. It got funnier as time went on because we found out that it was so TRUE! What more can I say other than UP NAIJA! we too get mouth...lol.

Examples we came up with:

Mago mago,
Copy copy,
Yori yori,
Kata kata,
Follow follow,
Lai lai,
Yama yama,
Gra gra,
Tolo tolo,
Bom bom
Sme sme,
Lie lie,
Craw craw,
Wuru wuru,
Shaky shaky,
Moi moi,
Puff puff,
Jedi jedi
Fear fear,
Kalo kalo
Mu-mu,
Kia kia,
Lapa lapa,

Ye-ye,

Pata pata,

Leke leke,

Sharp sharp,

Looku looku,

Waka waka,

Ra-ra,

Chin chin,

Goody goody,

Borrow borrow,

Corner corner...

Please feel free to make your additions by clicking on the comments link right under this post. Cheers!

Why did you make me BLACK?

2010-09-22T22:48:00.000+01:00

Also had this sent in by a reader - Jennifer, and it touched me a lot. Enjoy...

Why Did You Make Me Black Lord?

Lord, why did you make me black?

Why did you make someone

the world would hold back?

Black is the color of dirty clothes,

of grimy hands and feet,

Black is the color of darkness,

of tired beaten streets.

Why did you give me thick lips,

a broad nose and kinky hair?

Why did you create someone

who receives the hated stare?

Black is the color of the bruised eye

when someone gets hurt,

Black is the color of darkness,

black is the color of dirt.

Why is my bone structure so thick,

my hips and cheeks so high?

Why are my eyes brown,

and not the color of the sky?

Why do people think I'm useless?

How come I feel so used?

Why do people see my skin

and think I should be abused?

Lord, I just don't understand...

What is it about my skin?

Why is it some people want to hate me

and not know the person within?

Black is what people are "Labeled"

when others want to keep them away...

Black is the color of shadows cast....

Black is the end of the day.

Lord you know my own people mistreat me,

and you know this just ain't right....

They don't like my hair, they don't like my

skin, as they say I'm too dark or too light!

Lord, don't you think

it's time to make a change?

Why don't you redo creation

and make everyone the same?

God's Reply:

Why did I make you black? Why did I make you black?

I made you in the color of coal

from which beautiful diamonds are formed...

I made you in the color of oil,

the black gold which keeps people warm.

Your color is the same as the rich dark soil

that grows the food you need...

Your color is the same as the black stallion and

panther, Oh what majestic creatures indeed!

All colors of the heavenly rainbow

can be found throughout every nation...

When all these colors are blended,

you become my greatest creation!

Your hair is the texture of lamb's wool,

such a beautiful creature is he...

I am the shepherd who watches them,

I will ALWAYS watch over thee!

You are the color of the midnight sky,

I put star glitter in your eyes...

There's a beautiful smile hidden behind your pain...

That's why your cheeks are so high!

You are the color of dark clouds

from the hurricanes I create in September...

I made your lips so full and thick,

so when you kiss...they will remember!

Your stature is strong,

your bone structure thick to withstand the

burden of time....

The reflection you see in the mirror,

that image that looks back, that is MINE!

So get off your knees,

look in the mirror and tell me what you see?

I didn't make you in the image of darkness...

I made you in the image of ME

And that's all folks!

To kiss or not to kiss?

2010-09-15T20:41:00.001+01:00

Howdy y'all!

Okay, as you all know, I've been writing exams and been either too busy or too tired to blog. Anyway, after yesterday's paper was done, I was just chilling outside my faculty with my peeps and a female classmate walked up to us. For some funny reason, she asked how the paper went only to part with, "Ol boy, I need to kiss o. This exam no gree me see my boyfriend".
It got a laugh out of all of us but it made me think about the whole kissing idea, is it over-rated? Everybody for some reason reacts to kissing, being kissed or seeing people kiss.

It could be Goosebumps for the persons kissing,
Envy for the person NOT kissing,
Satisfaction for the one who did the match-making,
Anger for the person who's partner is being kissed by another,
Excitement for the person dared to kiss,
Shyness for the one kissing for the first time, and
Depression for the person who feels he/she will never kiss...

The thing is, it's hard to understand why the act of locking lips sends so much affection through us (you don't believe me? try kissing someone you've not met before, everyday for a week and see if you won't be seriously attached at the end of that exercise). I personally know a couple of people who are addicted to kissing (even though many of them are very bad kissers...lol). It's so annoying, you hear ladies especially getting angry at the boyfriend or husband who left without planting a wet one on their lips. Na by force? What if he wasn't in the mood? What if he forgot to clean his mouth that morning? What if he took something alcoholic and he didn't want you to know or you don't like alcohol? WHAT IF YOU DON'T KISS? Who's gonna die?
I like kissing too, but when I look at a beautiful lady... The lips are only a starting point..*wink..he he

Listening to 'Ndoli ndoli Prt 2' by H.Man

Exam Parolez..

2010-09-08T22:49:00.000+01:00

Howdy y'all?

Sorry your boy hasn't been around for a while. I've been preparing for exams and it hasn't been exactly easy. Anyway, what's good? I've been getting a lot of feedback and really wonderful topics for review by us here at archieglaze.blogspot.com from you guys (my lovely readers). It's really wonderful to know that ~~some of~~ you guys actually take your time to read through the site, all previous posts and even use the search tab. I love you guys and I promise to return to the way we were right after my papers are done..xo

LWKMD..

2010-09-03T21:47:00.000+01:00

You go fear when you see a dude jerking (doing the reject) in Samklef's 'Noni' video...

What’s love got to do with it?

2010-09-01T23:18:00.000+01:00

Howdy y’all?

I’ve got exams coming up, so that explains why I’ve been away for a while. It’s not easy when you have so much to do in such limited time.

Anyway, today I’ll be talking about ‘EX’es. Isn’t it funny how much life screws us all? Just when you feel you’ve found the one, you run into an Ex that would have been the one if not for your mistakes or how immature you were in that particular relationship. You start wishing you were taller, slimmer, in school, out of school, in a particular town or country, had more freedom or more money back when you were still dating that person. All of a sudden, your number one now starts looking like the second choice option on your JAMB registration form.

What’s even worse is when you meet an Ex you were really fond of back then in company of your current partner. It’s so not fair on the new person because you’ll be putting them in a very awkward position where they have to smile and act nice to someone they could stick a knife into just because of the way you are acting like a dog who’s owner just got back from a trip. I happen to have a number of former girlfriends and we always parted ways without anyone being hurt (topic for another day); So whenever I’m done acting like an ass when I meet any one of them, I put myself in the shoes of the new significant other person and give myself a mental slap. What’s suicidal is when you find out they have changed addresses and now stay on your street, or they go to the same church as you or they’ve been employed at your place of work and you are their immediate boss – Now, you’ve officially been CHOPPED and SCREWED!

Listening to ‘Daytime friends and night time lovers’ by Kenny Rogers..

Outstanding Perfumes made here in Nigeria...

2010-08-23T22:12:00.002+01:00

A reader just sent this in and I soo had to share it. Hilarious, if you read it out loud with a voice-over tone. Thanks Deji.

'Extinct' by NITEL..

'Blackout' by NEPA..

'Escape' by IBORI..

'Desperate' by ATIKU..

'Must be me' by BUHARI..

'Swindle' by C.IBRU..

'Barely 13' by YERIMA..

'Kampe' by OBJ...

'Honour Among Thieves' by NASS..

‘Assault’.....by DEJI of AKURE..

'Insane'... By S KAITA..

'Exquisite' ..... by ASHIWAJU..

'Excite' by ...BRF..

'Unreliable' by SUPER EAGLES..

Ikechukwu's number counting is in a CRITICAL condition!..

2010-08-22T00:01:00.001+01:00

International Killz, World Famous Academy, Mo Hits,

Koko Master D' banj eh eh..

It's Don Jazzy again! ah ah ha.....

Omo there's no one hotter than you,

You raising the temperature when you walking into the room (O critical!)

Got everybody confused, You making me see TWO..

The only problem with the lyrics above is nothing. The real problem is in Ikechukwu raising FOUR fingers to interpret the line in the video.

You might not see it though, because the director got effect happy and was quick to take away a scene even before we saw who was in it. Still a nice song though.. :-)

Kiss ur hands Rmx - Wande Coal & R2bees

2010-08-21T23:35:00.000+01:00

Anything shot with a lot of light is a plus + for me.
But the mall scenes with the girls are SO retarded. What in the world are the other guys doing? They just stand there looking like 'we're just chilling for a him say a line to the ladies so we can walk him out or talk our own too'..lol.
And again I say - It's more respectful not to have drinks in your video than to have bottles you won't open!!
Song - 2 thumbs
Wardrobe - 1.5 thumbs
Shoot locations - 2 thumbs

Mr Endowed?

2010-08-20T01:04:00.000+01:00

Howdy y'all!

If you are a follower of the Nigerian music scene, then you must know that the video for D' Banj's latest single - Mr Endowed has been released. Also, if you are an ardent reader of this blog, you should know that the Mo Hit's crew has gotten their asses whooped by us here. The thing is we at archieglaze.blogspot.com
don't hate, we simply don't get star-struck and accept just anything they put out there.

I would like to state that we are quite impressed with Sesan's work on this particular joint. Clean pictures and all, although we could have done better without the babe's bad teeth, the magic 'spray' and the super hero suit was hilarious! We enjoyed watching Don Jazzy give in to finally acting like a human, dancing, and mehn, are his outfits on point or what? (two thumbs up)
Watch video here

Exit Munya, Enter ‘Mu-Mu’nya..

2010-08-13T21:44:00.001+01:00

Munya

On the very first day the BBA housemates stepped into the house, it was quite obvious in the selection that the people over at M-Net did wonderful casting for the BBA All Stars edition. We had fine boys ~~with a few exceptions~~ and beautiful women. One dude who ranked high on that list was Munya; Simply because he has a cute frame and a wonderful smile. The only downside is he didn’t tell us in his profile that he is seriously lacking in intellectual abilities (especially when a woman is applying the pressure). Tatiana got this dude to look like a flippin sick transvestite just because she ~~needed~~ wanted to talk to the male folk in the house after a dagger thrown at her by Lerato asked that she does no such thing for a week. To imagine that NOTHING has even happened between them and thanks to Sheila, might never happen…

I wear my sunglasses at night???

2010-08-13T02:40:00.000+01:00

Howdy y’all,

Yeah, I know I’ve been away for a while. It’s just that I’ve been a lil busy. When you live as a dude in Naija, you’ll learn to respect the word ‘hustle’.

Anyway, the topic for discussion today is the disturbing trend that has begun with the influx of sunglasses and shades into the Naija fashion scene. According to the dictionary, sunglasses are eyeglasses with tinted or darkened lenses to protect the eyes from sunlight or it’s glare; So, can someone tell me why some supposedly ‘sane’ people wear sunglasses at night?

Designer shades

It’s a little funny when you step out of a 24-hour store or night club and you see some dude or babe coming at you with a smile and frames that could cover half of their faces including the nose... It makes me wonder if they are trying to be blind to see how it feels. The whole thing just contradicts the sun in sunglasses.

No sun - don’t wear.

Inside a house – don’t wear.

In CHURCH – don’t wear.

In the rain – Abeg, don’t wear.

There is something called ‘Stunna shades’; If you happen to lay your hands on one of those, then maybe you might be allowed bail.. If you remember to take them off in Church and in the rain.

Things we can’t do without

2010-08-13T02:19:00.000+01:00

According to a recent survey conducted and confirmed by archieglaze.blogspot.com, it is believed that the Homo-Sapiens in this century would die or find life extremely uncomfortable if most of these under listed items are taken away from them(us)... lol.

Portable computers

Coffee - a necessity?

High-speed Internet access

Education

Smart phones

Movies

TV

Music downloads

Pets

Booze

Coffee

Turned my Swag on, and quickly put it OFF...

2010-07-27T00:16:00.000+01:00

Howdy y'all?

Souljah Boy

Today, I'll be looking outside the shores of Naija at a 'brother' who has decided within his pretty young mind that he has a right to assault our ears and still make us love him. The very first time I heard this particular song, my younger sister was doing the singing so I thought she was doing a bad job until I saw the video. If you guessed right, your answer must have been Pretty ~~silly~~ Boy Swag by Souljah Boy.

Video link here - watch Pretty Boy Swag video.

The song doesn't even deserve a 'Worst song that can ever come out in 2010' award; That would be a lil' too prestigious for it. Funny thing is when Crank That came out, I thought it was just the dance steps that sold the track. Then not too long after that, he released Kiss Me Thru the Phone and I was swept away..(now I think the song was more of Sammie's talent than his :-P).

Anyway, the news making the rounds now is that of his 'remote controlled Lamborghini chain'. We have people on Forbe's richest list doing a double-take before spending money, but of course S.Boy can’t see it and has responded with a quite irritating rant about how “the media” never stops painting him as an irresponsible spender. He says:

Firstly: I didn’t pay ANYTHING for my black Lamborghini chain. I got it FREE as a birthday present from my jeweler when I turned 19 on July 28!

Secondly: Even if I did pay for it, who are you to judge me on what I purchase with MY money? (True, but when we don't buy your albums & stuff, you won't have ANY money).

Sammie

Lastly: Why do the media blow up the things that they think will make me look stupid or ignorant. Why not publicize or put me in the spotlight when I do positive things? Like when I was in the hood this past Christmas passing out toys to everyone on the westside of Atlanta where I grew up. Why not show that on TV? Why not publicize my Little league football team that I sponsor in Batesville, MS or the money I donated to help build the rec center and boyz and girls club?! Or when I donated $25,000 to all those kids to have a good Christmas with the Toyz n da hood Foundation? Why not step in when Ice-T was dissing me why not call up and have a sit down to squash that beef. THINK ABOUT IT A 40 YEAR OLD SOMETHING GANGSTA NIGGA VS. A 16 YEAR OLD KID (@ the time). Why not publicize when them niggaz ran in my house and tried to kill me and I had to defend myself and blast they asses (they probably were drunk for YOU to 'blast' them). WHY NOT SHOW THAT ON TV? HUH?! CUZ U DONT WANT PEOPLE TO SEE THE REAL SHIT THAT'S ON BEHIND THE SCENES. U WANT EVERYTHING WATERED DOWN & FAKE THATS WHY! F**K THAT! This is all I know! All I grew up seeing was diamondz, money, drugs, fightin, shootin, dancing, basketball and football. real nigga shit that’s all I was around while I grew up!

After all of this, all I have to say is if he doesn't start looking for a Don Jazzy to cover up his lack of true talent; All he'll be around are *celebs who resort to sextapes when they can't afford their houses anymore.

It's Official! Shan George has LOST it..

2010-07-24T02:12:00.001+01:00

I'm here trying to figure out what goes on in the minds of people we refer to as celebrities in Nigeria. If you ~~were~~ are a fan of Naija home videos, you should know some babe called Shan George. She WAS always cast for sexy, daring, temptress and bad girl roles. Now, she is leaving 'attractive' old and getting even older after chasing after young guys who only wanted to get some of what they saw on TV and getting married to them.

She has apparently been devastated by her serial break-ups that I suspect her brain is working in reverse mode. Haba! Now she's doing stuff that she should have done as a novice in the entertainment game. First, she goes to work on a movie that has already hit Box Office record no-sales (even though it hasn't been released) as a result of the retarded title. Abeg, who in the world does a movie called 'Super Zebra Man'? What is so super about a Zebra apart from it being black and white? Then like that wasn't enough, she enters the music industry and even had the effontery to shoot a video for a song titled Ogogo. I would like all of you to please remember her in your prayers; She needs us.

Freaky Pic of the Day..

2010-07-23T23:32:00.000+01:00

That's what it is y'all. Lol :-)

Naija States and New Slogans...

2010-07-22T23:54:00.002+01:00

Just got this off Naija Rooney Commentary (with a lil editing by my humble self); I think it's a pretty silly name, considering it has nothing to do with football or Rooney. This is quite hilarious though and I thought it'll be nice to share it here. No pun intended - Enjoy!

1. Lagos: "Give Us Your Poor and Weak, We Shall Rob Them at No Extra Cost To You."
2. Niger: "The Home of Dictators. Which Other State Has Two?"

3. Kano: "Shut-up, Niger, Have you Forgotten Murtala Muhammed and Sani Abacha?"

4. Ondo: "Boy, Where Have All Our Bright Ones Gone?"

5. Ekiti: "Thank God, We Got All The Bright Ones From Ondo during State Creation."

6. Cross River: "Can Someone Tell Us If We Are Nigerians or Cameroonians?"

7. Ebonyi: "Damn It, Cross River, Who Cares?"

8. Sokoto: "The Ajucation State."

9. Benue: "Home of the Brave Ones. Remember Okar, Iyorshie & Malu?"

10. Plateau: "We Once Shared The Same State With The Brave Ones. Hip! Hip!! Hip!!!? Hurray!!!"

11. Bayelsa: "Thank God for Odi, Our Claim To Fame."

12. Kaduna: "Are There Really More Christians Than Moslems in This State? We Want A Recount."

13. Borno: "Does Anyone Know How to Spell Boroonu? Please Help?"

14. Kwara: "To Be Yorubas or to be Hausas--That is The Question."

15. Akwa Ibom: "Our Women Are The Best Lovers."

16. Jigawa: "Bring Those Sinning Akwa Ibom Women & We Shall Flog Them."

17. Zamfara: "Home of The One-Armed Citizens."

18. Bauchi: "We Took Out The 'B' in Biafra."

19. Enugu: "Watch Your Goro Mouth, Bauchi?"

20. Ogun: "In The Words of Our former President--'Go To Hell!."

21. Oyo: "There Are Only Two States in Nigeria--Oyo & Others. Ye-whooooo!!!"

22. Edo: "How Many of Our Girls Did They Deport From Italy Today?"

23. Delta: "Who Cares, Edo? We Stopped Counting Years Ago When We Became a Separate State. Hehehehehe."

24. Imo: " 'I' for 'Igbo', 'M' for 'MASSOB' & 'O' for 'Ojukwu'. Yes O!!!!"

25. Kebbi: "Come Drink in Our State. We Don't Care. Just Don't Stagger Into Zamfara."

26. Taraba: "We Almost Had Oil. Kai!"

27. Abia: "Our Governor is More Handsome Than Yours. Eat Your Heart Out."

28. Adamawa: "Nun-Cents, We Are The Edukayshion Slate. No Sokoto. Tafur"

29. Kogi: "We Love Our State So Much That We Will Spell It for You--'K' as in 'Cupboard', 'O' as in 'Nothing', 'G' as in 'Jesus' and 'I' as in 'Eyes'. Yeah!!!."

30. Nasarawa: "Kai, We Almost Had Oil Too."

31. Anambra: "Okadigbo? Never Heard of Him."

32. Yobe: "Our Claim To Fame: Major Hamza El Mustapha."

33. Rivers: "Eat Oil, Sleep Oil, Drink Oil sef."

34. Osun: "Are We Really A State? We Are Confused?"

35. Gombe: "Zombie O' Zombie."

36. Katsina: "Leave Us Alone. We Are Still Thinking of a Slogan. We Are Slow Thinkers."

FCT--- Abuja: "The Centre of Corruption."

Freaky Pic of the Day...

2010-07-22T01:43:00.000+01:00

As different as we are the same... :-)

Big Brother Africa 2010: All Star Edition

2010-07-11T23:08:00.001+01:00

It's another year and another season for reality tv producers and viewers alike. A personal favourite for the past 5 years has been the Big Brother Africa annual show. It started out really new and unexpected, gave us all a shock when they actually showed EVERYTHING; Including shower and sex scenes.

They went through all the ups, downs and heavy tussles with the pro-African culture peeps who happen to have hypocritical members in our state houses. Anyway, with just a week to go before a sensational new BIG BROTHER AFRICA hits African television screens, speculation about the new show is growing fast as eager fans across the continent gear up for the highly anticipated July 18th launch.
M-Net has made a dramatic announcement confirming that the show is set to be a full fledged ALL STARS version, featuring some of the most unforgettable, outspoken, entertaining housemates of previous editions! But just who are they? That is still a secret that remains to be seen!

This edition still retains the price money from the Revolution that took place last year - US $200,000. And it will feature 14 housemates from 14 African countries and a choice for the viewers to pick between two feeds that would be aired (am I smelling the return of shower hour? I hope so)...

Pop Something or Show you've got money & Swagger?

2010-07-10T02:01:00.000+01:00

Howdy y'all?

I'm kinda confused right now, just a little bit though. I just saw the newly released videos of two artists on the Mo' Hits label... and they confirmed my fears. Those guys are losing their touch FAST! For Heaven's sake! Do they feel it's now a compulsory thing for them to do? Na by force? If you are not ready for it, don't do it!
I don't want to be the one to keep smacking these dudes up, but they 'used' to do better. I think their video production has definitely taken a nose-dive starting with that appalling video by D' Prince; If I were told the entire video was shot with a camera phone, I wouldn't doubt it.

D Prince's 'Omo Oba' video

A big chair and ~~tummy~~ belly dancers do NOT make you an Omo Oba..

One sentence - A waste of time.

Dr Sid's 'Pop Something' video

Dudes, even Justin Bieber wouldn't start counting the amount of drinks he's bought or had in his video.. What was all that about? You guys are supposed to be extra fly, but for me the video was bull..(I like the song though a lot).

I think they should go take a cue from these dudes. They do what I like to call Turning the swag on and keeping it that way.

Cartiair's 'Owo ati Swagga' video

From the lighting to the girls, suits, lyrics and popping...
Cartiair killed this joint with a swell video.

Banky W's 'Lagos Party' video

When you talk about having a party, stepping up your game and representing LasGidi; I'ld have to doff my hat to Banky W. He knew he had to bring it on and he did. Lots of popping and obvious fun. And like I heard him say, "The video is as expensive as it looks"... Trust me bruv, you don't want to go bragging on me.. :-)

When the Mighty tumble..

2010-07-04T22:44:00.000+01:00

Howdy y'all!

I don't hate. It's just that sometimes it feels good to know that a rich person is broke or your prom queen woke up with two BIG zits(pimples) on her forehead and nose...lol. When people or situations don't change, it generally affects the earth's balance, the ying & yang, you know.

Today, I just want to extend my sympathy to one of the few football 'heavy-weights' who got their butts kicked right out of the World Cup(after Nigeria though). It's really annoying to know those green frogs on our National team and football federation got paid heavily for the useless performance they so proudly displayed. I can only imagine how it feels to be trashed like that. Germany showed no mercy especially to Maradona's coaching career.

Little wonder why he decided to let their fans have it real good before his exit. He had his daughter to thank for quickly removing him from the pitch before things got any worse. I was beginning to fall in love with the player turned coach, linesman, spectator and ball-boy. The sign reads "Bye Maradona"

2010-07-03T22:58:00.001+01:00

Howdy y'all!

Today was fresh. For the very first time I drove a car with just my Dad and I in it. I know that may sound a lil weird but if you know my Dad, you'll know he doesn't want to die soon and seeing me behind the wheels of any car is like him looking at a Reaper...lol. He just had this thing in his head that if that doesn't happen, I might give him a heart attack.

My mum is the total opposite. She happily gives out the heart and head-aches. She'll complain about how you don't use your brake just as she's insulting you on how you keep going too slow. I don't mind her company in the car though, as long as I am not the one driving. Was at my place of work today and finally things are beginning to look up. Change is constant and there's a pretty good wind of change blowing through that place. We are stepping the game up and am I glad about it?..Yes, I am.

I personally feel it's long overdue but happy to be getting the results I've wanted. Wish y'all the best of luck too. Y'all gonna be hearing about Archie Glaze doing lots of bigger things sooner than you imagine.

Do we really have to?

2010-07-02T22:22:00.000+01:00

Howdy y’all!

You would have to forgive me for doing a little off the workload of the NLC president. It’s just that we need to check ourselves first. Every single one is responsible for what happens to us all.

Whenever we have reasons to celebrate worldwide, gift-giving and gift-receiving are almost a major characteristic. In Africa, believe it or not, it’s worse and in Nigeria... it’s the worst. Firstly, in Nigeria everything is a reason to celebrate; Getting married, getting pregnant, giving birth, 1st, 10th,13th, 16th, 18th, 21st, 30th, 40th, 45th, 50th, 60th, 70th, 80th, 90th, 100th birthdays, death and yearly remembrance parties. That’s different from getting admission into any institution(mental, marital, academic or professional..), matriculation, graduation, Thank God It’s Friday, after-exams, new house or car and too many other things I can’t remember now.

What are we using all these for? When we’ve got jobs to create and too many people starving in the world. Take a look around and you will see only too many places to put that money to better use...

Can we have a moment of Silence?...

2010-06-11T15:35:00.001+01:00

Howdy Y'all!

If you are reading this today, then you probably are doing it because you need something or someone(me) to take your mind off the fan ruckus, football tv presenters and VuvuZella blaring South Africans.

It is indeed a great day for everyone in the world. A dream come true for many(mostly South Africans who won't go to school or will have to work half day for a month because of the World Cup). The fight for freedom, equality and a chance to show that we can prove ourselves has finally paid off.

I'm particularly loving Shakira's performance from last night.It was a lot of fun to watch, really colourful and entertaining. As with all celebrations though, i always pity those who have to clean up the venue... that's so not my favourite job.

In the midst of all the excitement and making merry by all of us, the family of a South African pillar has been thrown into grief and mourning. The death of Nelson Mandela's great granddaughter Zenani Mandela in a car accident has indeed saddened many of us who do not believe in doing many wrong things in the name of football.

Johannesburg Metro police spokeswoman Edna Mamonyane said the driver of the car, a man, had been arrested and charged with drunk-driving. She said the driver, whom the police refused to name, could also face culpable homicide charges. “The Metro police found that he was drunk,” Mamonyane said. “He lost control of the vehicle and it collided with a barricade.”

Police spokesman Govindsamy Mariemuthoo, who earlier said the driver would appear in court for a preliminary hearing Friday, said that it had been postponed for more investigations, and that the driver was not being held. Mariemuthoo said that was not unusual...

May her gentle 13 year old soul rest in peace.

2010-06-10T16:56:00.003+01:00

Some dispute the power of God,
Some challenge the power of nature,
Some question the powers of world leaders,
But all agree on the power of a woman…

- 'Femisire Ajayi

9ja, we hail thee...

2010-05-26T17:51:00.000+01:00

Howdy y'all!

Truth be told. I love my country, but if my country loves me back is what I seriously doubt. Was talking to someone the other day and she was laughing at stuff I didn't consider funny at all. I was saying that if you walk into a maternity ward, look for the newest baby among the lot, sit by its cot and start telling it about all the wrong things happening in this country... You would need to buy it a walking stick as a parting gift because the baby would age right there in that cot!

When I was growing up, people might have had to go peek through the windows of their neighbours (who were priviledged enough to own generators) to be able to watch the Super Eagles play good soccer; Now, we only talk about the 'chickens' and sport journalists have had to damn their ethics and use swear words(f**k, to be precise) on national tv. I really won't mind if we had just one good thing to hold on to, roads, security, power supply, education, intellectual productivity(even yahoo boys have resorted to jazzing up their magas), honesty in our political circles, sports, and the list goes on. We don't need to keep placing ourselves at the mercy of foreigners who won't mince words when they have to verbally flog us or tactically trash us(at the world cup - except a miracle happens). I only hope we youths have not been totally corrupted by the greed that rules our nation.

We really should strive to change things for the better.

We are repackaged and ready to go...

2010-05-21T14:43:00.000+01:00

It's new and fresh. Your fav'rite blog is taking it to a new level. Get ready for the dishes served straight from our numerous kitchens across LasGidi and the globe.

We hope to keep you informed and entertained just like you deserve.

Editor:

BBA Revolution winner Kevin Chuwang-Pam, a comedian?

2010-05-12T14:19:00.000+01:00

HELL NO!

Howdy y'all!

I know that usually comes first, but I'm still annoyed by what happened on the 9th of May. Geez, a calm sunday evening definitely comes with a lotta pretty cool TV shows. One of the ones i'm particularly interested in is Comedy Club: Live in Lagos hosted by BigB's I.K. Hey! Who can't use a good laugh?

Anyway, I tune to the channel and I'm settling down only to hear I.K announce that there was a 'special guest' in the building. The guest who happened to be Kevin. If i'm not mistaken, this dude was alll about doing rap while he was in the house. What in Heaven's name is he doing on the set of a comedy show?! I decided to give him a benefit of doubt that was thrown right back at me when he opened his mouth to start telling what I believe he thought were jokes.

With absolutely no beef for this dude, except that he is now stupidly fatter, his trousers looked like he stole them, he couldn't even sit on his bum - his waist had to substitute and I would rather laugh at a baby farting than any of his %^#**(@%^ dry jokes... Phew!

With all that said, I close with: I really hope you have better luck with your album, bruv. You've got enough money to pay a song-writer, a good producer and even a body double for your video. Cheers!

M.I.A - At all !!!

2010-05-03T14:05:00.000+01:00

Howdy y'all?

This one here is to find out why I've started finding it difficult to update my blog. People have been fbooking me and sending me e-mails, some concerned ones and the others.... - well, good fans. I have a thousand and one things to blog about, but the time I can squeeze out is very little to coordinate my thoughts.

I hope BlogsVille possesses a really good doctor that can handle such serious cases? My specifications -
Female (before nko?),
Between the ages of 17 and 35 (experience does count... wink)
Someone who can do some hands-on explanation
Someone who is good to look at (not necessarily listen to)
And... the rest would be communicated later.

Anyway, just before I forget. I was on a bike home last week and a pick-up truck crossed lanes (apparently, the mumu driver wanted to park in front of a bank) and totally blocked the bike I was on. Sharply, I did a mental check of what, and how much I had on me because a cuz of mine was dispossessed of a BB and laptop last month. It was like I was on a movie set.

The funny part of the gist is the bike rider was Hausa and was feeling like he was a jasi (proper) LasGidi guy. Immediately we were crossed, he shouted at the driver who had successfully parked his ride inside an open gutter, "You no get sense - at all!". Still livid, he managed to pull us out of where we had been cornered, crossed over to the driver's window and screamed, "You see am, stupid man. You don craze - AT ALL!"

I don't think I should tell you how tightly I held on to the bike after that. I was laughing so hard, a police man at a traffic light had to ask if I was being kidnapped and had been drugged ...lol.

Primary School in Naija?... Confirm here pls.

2010-03-26T18:22:00.000+01:00

Howdy y'all?

Yes, I know I've been away for a while. Been working on my first book and all; Putting all the finishing touches to it and all. It will be out for purchase before the year runs out sha...

Okay, to the business of the day. The law states that you have to go through primary school before you get qualified for secondary school and university. The experience that you have in a Nigerian ~~elementary~~ primary school cannot be equaled by any. The mumuish (lol) touch to primary education when you look back can be both funny and annoying.

Playing 'catcher' and 'police and thief' during ~~recess~~ break time et al. Holding the babes (who happened to all be wearing singlets just like us) round the waists, chests and rolling in the sand. Fast forward to now and you have to be careful so you don't snap the bones in the Victoria Secret bras which may be holding Double D's that are probably saline or silicone... And about the holding, you are definitely risking getting slapped or stepped on with 11" heels.

Shit does happen, but just for the nostalgia it brings. Check these original 9ja poems out...

Some have food but cannot eat, some can eat but have no food. We have food and we can eat. Glory be to thee o Lord. Amen.

The day is bright is bright and fair

oh happy day, the day of joy

The day is bright is bright and fair

oh happy day, the day of joy

mama jellof rice!

oh my home o my home

oh my home o my home

wen shall i see my home

wen shall i see my nativeland

i will never forget my home!

holiday is coming [2x]

no more warning bells

no more teachers cane.

goodbye teachers, goodbye scholars

I ' m going 2 spend

a jolly holiday [2x]

h-i-p- for d hip

p-o-p-o for d hipopo

and t-a-m-u-s for the hipopotamus1

hipoptamus!

parents listen to your children

we are the leaders of tomorrow

try and pay our school fees

and give us good education

I am a little sailor boy that comes from the sea

that comes from the sea to marry you

Oh will u marry marry marry

will you you marry me?

8 o ' clock is d time 4 skul, dnt be l8t in d mornin.

8 o ' clock is 4 boys and gals, come 2 skul in za mornin.

Closing time in the afternoon:

Now the day is over, night is drawing nigh, shadows of the evening, still across the skies

Glory to the father, Glory to the son, And to thee blessed spirit, Whilst all ages run, Amen!

rain rain go away

come another noda day

Little children want to play

SMS : Stretch Mark Syndrome

2010-02-19T16:26:00.000+01:00

Howdy y’all?

The day before Valentine’s Day in the year 2010 was the final pack of straws ~~on the skin~~ that broke the camel’s back. Haba! First of all, what’s d marra with all these Naija babes of today? I invite you to a

House party – short gown
Night club – short gown
Pool party – short gown
Church – short M4**kn gown!!!

What happened to bikinis (or swimming trunks sef), Cinderella gowns, skirt suits and the ever reigning jeans and t-shirt? Call me old fashioned, u don’t know the half of it! I don’t mind if you are wearing something you look tyte in; But you are all in a hurry to buy the short and sexy gowns when you should be at the dermatologists, purchasing a year’s supply of stretch mark removers.

I am a true born Naija dude and I know we like our women to have some flesh on them (like we have a choice, when we spend 60 times what our dads paid as bride-price on first dates nowadays). So if you are ~~fat~~, ~~plump~~, or ‘plus size’, don’t feel bad – get a Nigerian visa! Lol.

Okay now, I’ll be straight with you peeps who by now have started mouthing off about how it’s not your fault. I don’t blame anybody for having stretch marks, we’ve all got different skin types. And even I started having some myself when I first started pumping some iron. No, it’s not my fault that my skin is stretching to accommodate more muscle space...lol. But COVER IT UP!! It’s not your fault that you have them, but it’s so your fault that you are SHOWING them (Ladies!).

I was at work on the 13th, we threw some Val bash and chics were trooping in. I happened to be at the entry point for a while and I needed a shot of something above 5% (on huge rocks!!) after the ordeal I went through in the hands of the babes. Arms, legs, behind the knees and even on the boobs!! Kai! We gave out goodie bags, but none had turtle-necks in them. We (I) don’t want to see all that... Cover them up – and fast too. I happen to know you don’t even have a sensible boyfriend, so why are your boobs looking like they’ve breastfed 6 children? I no dey pose, na beg I dey beg... If your stretch marks have begun to look like a graph book – short gowns are not for you! They repel us dudes (except those guys who are looking for Milfs).

N.B : If you manage to land a dude who sees ‘em and doznt mind... He’s sure to love you long time.

Truly Stars...

2010-02-04T16:59:00.000+01:00

Howdy y’all,

In the spirit of the Grammys, I just had to let y’all know that Archie Glaze’s Most Creative Video(2009) award goes to

Foreign – Jeremih (Imma star) , and
Nigerian – T.W.O (Fine Bara)

These guys are AWESOME. A breath of fresh air that was so needed. C’mon guys, I think we are quite tired of you telling us how much money you have. We need people to make good music and still entertain us. You don’t entertain anybody when you’ve got bling blinding their sights.
‘Imma star’ is one video I won’t get tired of in a very long while. My best part is when the beggar saw his ride and went nuts...LMAO. Ol boy! LaffWanKill the guy sha. And of course, ‘Fine Bara’ is just hilarious. Favourite part though is when Tunde is calling out his qualifications and says he has a Doctorate degree and he is working on his PhD...lol. What in God’s name is a Doctorate degree?! Big ups to Jeremih, T.W.O and their entire video crew for the creativity on those videos.

Some of my fancy footwork...

2009-12-15T17:26:00.000+01:00

I didn't have too much to do, so I decided to kinda 'come out'...lol. Always loved dancing, and pretty good at it too. If I can blow my trumpet jst a lil bit. Check it out doe, watch the feet and be the judge.

Ways to turn down a Guy – Part 2

2009-11-12T21:36:00.000+01:00

> HE: How did you get to be so beautiful?

> SHE: I must've been given your share.

> HE: Will you go out with me this Saturday?

> SHE: Sorry. I'm having a headache this weekend.

> HE: Your face must turn a few heads.

> SHE: And your face must turn a few stomachs.

*

> HE: Go on ,don't be shy. Ask me out.

> SHE: Okay, get out.

The Funny Thing about market Monopoly

2009-11-12T21:18:00.002+01:00

Howdy y’all,

I was just thinking about one funny occurrence in Nigeria especially, and I thot it will be fun to share it with you...

- Have you gone to the market or written down a list of grub to get and you find yourself asking for or writing Indomie, when what you really need is any kind of NOODLES.

- Have you hurriedly asked someone in the kitchen to pass you the Maggi, when what you really need are SEASONING CUBES.

- Have you told someone the Peak milk at home is finished, when what actually finished is another brand of EVAPORATED MILK.

- Have you ever been around a person who asks someone else to get him/her Close-Up, when what they really need is any tube of TOOTHPASTE.

It is really funny when I hear all these stuff. It can even get so ridiculous that people request for Knorr ‘Maggi’.. Haba! It just cracks me up so bad, but I’m at least happy for the manufacturers of such products. Guess their advertisements and consistency has paid off. And the mistakes... well, that’s what makes us Nigerian, init? Lol.

Oshamo - Official Vid.

2009-11-08T18:53:00.000+01:00

I saw this vid for the first time while having lunch... And I almost choked on my food...lol. If you are wondering why, just listen to what Suspect has to say at the door.

Happy Birthday to Me!

2009-10-29T14:08:00.002+01:00

... This is not a post. Just wanted to wish me a wonderful year and everyone in BlogsVille is invited 2 where we at...

Flygeria

2009-10-16T15:24:00.000+01:00

Nice one...

Top 19 Freakiesst cards...

2009-09-18T23:51:00.000+01:00

1. I always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love. And now that you've come into my life...

(Inside card) - I've changed my mind.

2. I must admit, you brought religion into my life...

(Inside card) - I never believed in Hell until I met you.

3. As the days go by, I think how lucky I am....

(Inside card) - That you're not here to ruin it for me .

4. Congratulations on your promotion. Before you go....

(Inside card) - Will you take the knife from my back? You'll probably need it again.

5. Happy Birthday! You look great for your age....

(Inside card) - Almost lifelike!

6. When we were together, you said you'd die for me...

(Inside card) - Now we've broken up, I think it's time to keep your promise.

7. Congratulations on your new bundle of joy.....

(Inside card) - Did you ever find out who the father was?

8. You are such a good friend. If we were on a sinking ship and there was only one life jacket...

(Inside card) - I'd miss you terribly and think of you often .

9. Your friends and I wanted to do something special for your birthday...

(Inside card) - So we're having you put to sleep.

10. Looking back over the years that we have been together, I can't help but wonder.....

(Inside card) - What the hell was I thinking

11. I'm so miserable without you...

(Inside card) - It's almost like you're still here.

12. Thank you for being part of my life.....

(Inside card) - I never knew what evil was until I met you!

13. Congratulations on your wedding day!...

(Inside card) - Too bad no one likes your husband.

14. How can I say this....

(Inside card) - Your cooking kills me

15. Hooray.....

(Inside card) - You're divorced.

16. I just want you to know that I'm sorry for what happened...

(Inside card) - Especially since you survived.

17. Congrats on getting married...

(Inside card) - It's not everyday you decide to ruin your life.

18. Someday I hope to marry...

(inside card) - Someone other than you.

19. We have been friends for a very long time...

(inside card) - What do you say we stop?

Education is priceless...lol

2009-09-18T23:36:00.000+01:00

Miss Beatrice, the church organist, was in her eighties and had never been married. She was admired for her sweetness and kindness to all. One afternoon the pastor came to call on her and she showed him into her quaint sitting room. She invited him to have a seat while she prepared tea. As he sat facing her old Hammond organ, the young minister noticed a cut-glass bowl sitting on top of it. The bowl was filled with water, and in the water floated, of all things, a condom! When she returned with tea and scones, they began to chat.

The pastor tried to stifle his curiosity about the bowl of water and its strange floater, but soon it got the better of him and he could no longer resist. 'Miss Beatrice', he said, 'I wonder if you would tell me about this?' pointing to the bowl. 'Oh, yes,' she replied, 'Isn't it wonderful? I was walking through the park a few months ago and I found this little package on the ground. The directions said to place it on the organ, keep it wet and that it would prevent the spread of disease. Do you know I haven't had the flu all winter?'

Ladies - Would you prefer a hubby with one or many?

2009-09-18T23:27:00.000+01:00

Howdy y'all,

Okay today we would be talking again to the ladies. I just seem to love the ladies too much.

This one is acting as an extension to a post by what Nigerian women deal with.

Simply put, the question is(because we are assuming that all men cheat). Would you prefer your man to cheat with many women or stick to one woman? Personally I think both of these situations have their pros and cons...

..but i would let the ladies decide.